Consecration In Marriage

Consecration in marriage is all about loving and serving your spouse. There are many ways that we can love and serve our spouse. Some ways we can help our spouse is by doing as they ask. If my husband asks something of me, I try my best to do as he is asking. I can also serve him by doing things I know he likes before he asks. I can help him by making sure that his dinner is hot when he comes home. I can love him by making sure there is gas in the car after I use it. The little things that go unnoticed are ways we can serve and love our spouses.
In Gottman’s book, 69% of all marital problems are perpetual. Gottman believes that 69% of all marital issues will continue throughout the marriage. These problems will continue to resurface each time the couple gets mad at each other. The couple sweeps them under the rug. Though they may try to avoid the bump in the carpet, they trip over it and rehash the subject. I don’t believe that it is that much. Yes, there are some things that my husband and I rehash out, but it is not near 69% of our discussions. We only have a couple of items that are perpetual in our marriage. We try to solve every issue that pops up. We know that sweeping it under the rug is not going to solve anything. Couples should face issues head-on and get down to the real problem of things and not just the surface. The difference between happily married couples and unhappily married couples trying to address perpetual issues is, the happily married couple will get to the bottom of the problem and solve it. Perpetual problems in an unhappily married couple will lead to the end of their marriage.
Gottman believes that the underline key to a solvable or a perpetual problem in successfully addressing the conflict is your partner must feel that you understand and accept their personality and perspective. You can accomplish this by making sure your spouse feels loved and accepted by you.