My marriage class has been reading a book by Dr. John M. Gottman, PH.D., and Nan Silver named, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. We have only read the first five chapters, and this book has truly opened my heart, mind, and eyes. I would highly recommend this book to any couple that is in a long term relationship.
One of the principles Dr. Gottman speaks about is called “love mapping.” I always knew I wanted to know more about my husband, but I never thought about making a mental map of his like and dislike. There were some questions in the books that I have never asked myself, let alone my husband. Dr. Gottman states, “From knowledge springs not only love but the fortitude to weather marital storms.” I never thought about the knowledge I knew about my husband would allow us to “weather marital storms.” As I said before we don’t yell and scream at each other, we have long discussions. We have gone through some pretty intense storms which have only made us stronger. I can’t pinpoint exactly why we came out stronger. Other than we stuck together and no matter what we kept each other priority. Through all our trials we have made dating a precedence. Having time alone together we kept updating on things happening in each other’s lives. We didn’t give up on each other.
Until about four months ago, when our grandsons came to live with us, my husband and I found time to go on regular date night. With high energy toddlers in our home, we found ourselves drifting apart. We didn’t make time for date night and we had very little conversations together. I have missed being able to stay connected to my best friend. I look forward to getting reacquainted with my husband when our two little grandchildren go home to their dad. It will only be my husband and I and our adult daughter again. We have already planned a date night. I didn’t know they were so important until we stopped. I missed my friend. I miss getting to know my husband during these date nights. I look forward to dating my husband once again. I would encourage you to make date night a priority. I didn’t know how important until we didn’t have it any more.
Marriage 